Monthly Archives: July 2008

Air of Importance

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Welcoming the deputy prime minister to Cambodia back again at the airport obviously was not my job, but I had to go along with other two AFP journalists. I wanted to get involved with something like that, though not requested by my boss or colleagues.
On the day, a lot of local journalists and a few foreign ones zigzagged their way to the airport. Nobody with no relevant obligation was allowed in at a special airport for VIPs. I remember vividly that on that day, no only the media people but also the government officials queued up smilingly and grinned at each other. Creepy, indeed! Noise started to soar up. It came from everywhere around the room. How boring, I kept saying to myself. I thought I shouldn’t have wasted my time waiting around for nothing. Well, perhaps an experience like this would be worthwhile, as you might think. Every official was the centre of attention of the journalists who made a mental note of whom to interview later for their respective media organizations. Later came “the star” everybody was awaiting but as soon as the deputy appeared, he already rushed to a small VIP room. Disappointed, all the journalists hurried to the stadium to listen to an important speech.
Desperate to get to the stadium before everybody else, my colleagues and I hopped into the car and dashed out of the airport. It’s incredibly my first time to drive in a queue along with other officials’ cars while the wind blew the sound of horn away. How does it feel to be among the powerful and look out at the others stopping their vehicles for you? How does it feel to see traffic police blocking other people’s way for only your group? Wow, the speed was like a rocket launched into the sky. It was 15 minutes, 100% faster than going through normal traffic. After all, this air of importance lasted very briefly and left no good feeling afterwards. I didn’t like it and am not gonna like doing it ever. My confusion was put to rest after we reached the stadium only to find that there were so many people and the official speech was toooo boring and prolonged.
That event didn’t satisfy me. My presence was there but my mind was somewhere else. No rise in my spirits. If it were a true act of patriotism, my heart would have been touched by it, for sure.
No doubt.

Memorably Sad Day-Turned Historical Day

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Something was so bizarre and inexplicable. Only if you want to listen to me now, I’ll tell.
I lost a recorder worth of $120 in the throng of people who strolled out the park near Wat Phnom to celebrate the success of Preah Vihear listed as a World Heritage site. More than just a loss of something quite valuable, I found a more profound thing that erased sadness and anger from my mind but left a lesson for the day.

Getting together with a few friends, we stopped our bikes at a hotel along the riverside and decided to walk to the park. Walking past the Big Market, I spotted night family life, the life that I could see at night, but not in the afternoon. Along the muddy smelly dark pavement, in front of the Big market, a few cottages were installed. To me, those were poor people’s houses at night where they could relax and forget their suffering during the day. I saw a mother cradling and breastfeeding her baby on a bed with a mosquito net still hung on, waiting to be put down as soon as it got darker. Next to the mother and baby, another family was telling their life story nonverbally. A child was scribbling into a piece of paper, placed on the chest of the father who was lying down next to his wife. He was attentively looking at his daughter and the paper, smiling down at her. He might be wondering what she was doing and what she would become, in years. The lamp they had shed light on where they were communicating silently. I could not see with my eyes, but heart.


I walked on without soul because all my thoughts were on the scene I saw. Everything else paled into insignifance now. I still kept that in mind though I reached the park. Trying to get past to see the stage closer, I stopped and felt that my bag was moving. Some people were pushing behind me. I let a small girl go stand before me and decided to let the other young older girl in too. I saw her face become pale when I put my hand on her left shoulder and gently pushed her in. She didn’t seem she wanted to. I suddenly felt my bag and found two zippers opened. I knew right away that I was going to lose something. I am always known as an unorganized person. Always! I thought this time I was stupid and I should have always been careful and alert at the beginning. My mother always blamed me for being so peaceful with anything that smells a rat. “What a peaceful thought you think,” my mother says to me. This is a world some people might think there are only winners and losers in. I don’t think that I lost too much of something yet I gained something else that I was flabbergasted I got. I am just like the same person who lived the other day. If you allow me to ask questions, I wanted to ask the girl how she would deal with her future life. $120 is going to be spent very soon. Life would be the same for her. Will she use it to take drugs or do something useful? I’m afraid her life was like something I expected. Money is a piece of paper which, though you work so hard to earn, can be very vulnerable and fragile. I am not imposing an idea that we should not work hard for a living. Much more than that, life is susceptible to more vulnerability. Walking the right path is tough, almost unattainable but still open to everyone.