I can’t really complain about the fact that my holiday away from school is not exactly like one. The exam has just been over, and a new internship has to be confirmed as soon as possible, as part of the mandatory school task as announced. My study isn’t very bad, but the quality has dropped quite a bit. I stop having ample time to read what I like anymore. Every time I open my eyes to read my favourite and exciting books or novels, the eye-lids start to cover my eyeballs. That’s why I know I need to find something stimulating (like coffee/water) to have to keep myself awake, only to find out later in the morning, that I fell asleep the night before. Thanks God, the third year of my academic study was just over this week!!!
The long period of taking more tasks has somewhat changed my perspective about everything I do. Even the way I see blogging changes as well. I find it annoying or even irritating since reading now is much more crucial than blogging. Maybe my mind cheats me. It says I enjoy taking up more responsibilities but my heart does not. I want to be the same as before. I want to read, watch nice movies, and hang out with cool friends.
When I ponder over the past, I really miss out on some very important things like being with my family and friends. Due to my daily hectic schedule, as described, waking up in the morning, going to school, studying from morning till evening, writing stories or doing some other jobs and returning home late in the evening, I feel like living someone else’s life. At least, a good thing that can compensate that is I had a nice childhood as well (as I’ve tried to make myself believe) 😀 . My childhood wasn’t bad or perfect either. But as an adult (I call myself so), I am obliged to take up responsibilities such as paying bills, supporting family and yes, earning some money to pay the school fee. I presume this is fair enough.
Some friends at school call me ‘money-faced’ because I’d rather spend time working than being with them. I always wish I could join. 100% sure. However, I am not the same Kounila anymore. I am more responsible and accountable for my well-being and family’s. So to say, I have more than 2 or 3 jobs. The reason I have several jobs simply explains that if I want to buy something, I can’t depend on my parents anymore. My most beloved teacher, whereas, advises me not to be used by anyone who longs for me to do any job. I cried when she told me so. Did I miss much fun already? It is not something I should cry over; it’s not the spilt milk… it’s only a chance I miss. My boss persuades me to take up a few more days of work after told that my third year study is over and my new internship starts. But I was very hesitant.
+ a part-time job on Saturdays and Sundays and for another news organization
+ a freelancer at an international daily newspaper
+ a freelancing interpreter……..and any job that is related to communication and journalism…
I can’t trust myself anymore to have a holiday. Sounds gloomy??